All of us have our days where confidence in ourselves is about as easy to find as the Loch Ness monster. You search for it, but all you can find is doubt and uncertainty. Why? You are doing all the things as the day before when your day was on the right track and having a smooth ride.

For me, it’s not because I lack the initiative, skills or drive to be successful every day. But sometimes I think I have to be up all the time even when something has not gone right that day — A client has been challenging, I am finding it hard to stay focused on my career, I had one of those drama queen-type of conversations with my teenage daughter. You know how it goes…

In my 25+ year work career, I’ve had countless successes and a few challenges along the way. When I’ve had challenges with my physical disability (Cerebral Palsy), career and/or life, I have found the most important key is to have trust in myself. This unyielding confidence to successfully pull through any situation has been important for me.

Maintaining a baseline of confidence in good and not so good times is THE most important resiliency/adaptability factor that allows me to continue my work and life everyday.

Now that I’ve celebrated my 50th birthday a few months ago, life has had its moments where I’ve wanted to shut the world out because I’ve momentarily lacked the confidence in myself. This may have been because I had just tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and fallen. (My balance is sometimes affected by my physical disability.) Or, I just had a conversation with my daughter that I knew could have gone better. Or, I had just recently been laid of from a wonderful job I truly loved.

All of us have resilient issues – great and small – we face everyday. They can truly affect the confidence in ourselves. To help maintain resilience, I have highlighted a few of my successful confidence strategies that you may want to apply to your everyday needs.

I’d suggest you think about the following, and try at least one strategy this week to help stay resilient and confident. Because remember: Your most important asset is you.

- Finding one positive about yourself each day. Every day, I try to find at least one thing I did very well the previous day. This may be helping a colleague network to find a better job, knowing I treated my daughter fairly in a conversation about improving her grades, or (simply) that I exercised and liked the way my body reacted.

What is one simple or complex action yesterday that you felt confident about in your life?

- Stop sweating. I try to avoid sweating the daily small stuff that may lead me to lose a bit of confidence in myself. Whether that may be not worrying I am a couple minutes late for a meeting because I hurt my back getting out of the car, not getting one of my Top Five list of things done I promised myself, or forgetting to pet my wonderful dogs as I leave for work.

What small stuff will you try to avoid to keep your confidence on the right level each day?

- Liking Yourself. I am the first one to admit that I don’t always like myself every minute of every day. I make mistakes I regret, I don’t always see possibilities when they are in front of my face, or I am just having a bad hair day.

No matter what happens, though, I always remember what is truly important in my life – loving my beautiful wife, teaching my wonderful daughter the values she will carry throughout her life, or talking with the great friends I have had for so many years. Such examples are keys to being happy with myself and successfully getting past certain times where I don’t always see myself in the best light.

What do you like about yourself?

Over the next week, I suggest thinking through such questions, and trying to maintain the right amount of confidence in all parts of your life. There will always be days where your confidence wanes and your resiliency disappears. But just remember the love and emotional value of your family and friends, and the good that you do at work and throughout your life. You are such a good person!

A famous philosopher once said: “Maintaining one’s confidence is ultimately the gift of liking yourself no matter what external factors or internal demons get in the way.”

Thanks, again, for supporting my resiliency messages. I have now received comments from every continent – except Antarctica. I’m still holding out hope that a scientist or penguin is tuning into my site.:~)

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

Last week was a tough one for civility, doing the right thing and the art of simple life resiliency.

We heard the unemployment rate is still nearly 10 percent and more than 8 million Americans are continuing to look for their next great work adventure. Experts also said U.S. employment projections don’t hint at “normalcy” before 2012.

This has forced many of us to rethink and reinvent our careers – and work doubly hard to support our families. We have been burning the midnight oil – sometimes seven-days-a-week – to stay resiliently healthy.

So when two U.S. senators stood in front of cameras last week to basically sucker punch those of us staying resilient, I was deeply saddened and angry. What did they say or do?

A retiring Kentucky senator waged a nearly one-man crusade to twice block the extension of jobless benefits for those who may have nowhere else to turn for a bit of financial help. Members from both sides of the political aisle were aghast and disgusted with his insensitivity and sheer disdain for his fellow Americans in need.

Then, even worse, an Arizona senator had the gall to say extending unemployment benefits would perpetuate the laziness of those unemployed or underemployed. This statement was the ultimate embarrassment – to him.

I typically write exclusively about resiliency topics, but having two very influential politicians out-of-touch with the resiliency of Americans deserved a special comment this week.

Unemployment benefits have helped me retool my career interrupted by this tragic economy. An economy unfortunately still in disarray because both sides of the aisle are not willing to give a little for the common good.

I have very humbly become an internationally-known speaker and writer about career and life resiliency. It’s been a true blessing for a guy who has resiliently adapted to a lifelong physical disability (Cerebral Palsy) – and a lay off from my 25-year corporate communications executive career.

Without the unemployment benefits, however, my road would have been much harder and challenging.

I purposely don’t mention the senators’ names or party affiliations because they should not matter. Whether Democrats, Republicans, Independents or a reincarnation from the Whig party, this is not the time to play with the lives and resiliency of good people trying to make it through another day.

By the end of last week, both senators felt intense pressure to moderate their positions and the unemployment benefit package passed overwhelmingly.

The common-sense point: With so many still desperately looking for work with little success, this extension gives folks some additional financial relief for the sort-term future. Last week, sadly, an additional 34,000 workers lost their jobs nationwide.

While government cannot fund everything, these additional benefits may allow a few more families to stave off foreclosure, dust themselves off, stay resilient and get back on their feet again.

Government should never hold the lives and well being of any of us in the balance for unnecessary and ill-conceived political purposes.

Fortunately as America and other parts of the world have done for so long, cooler and more resilient minds finally saw the light on the 29^th day of a 30-day cycle. Thank goodness!

I, again, appreciate your constant support of my free resiliency advice web site. Until next week…

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

Inspiration and resilience come in many forms. Great folks like you around the world have reached out to me through my speeches and writings to say they are extremely inspired by how I have successfully overcome the challenges of my lifelong disability – Cerebral Palsy.

Yes, I’ve dusted myself off to turn such a life obstacles into the persistent pursuit of the best that I can be. But there are so many others of you who may have much more profound challenges that are deep inside that can lead to tremendous pain and sorrow.

I, for example, was absolutely inspired by Canadian figure skater Joannie Rochette, who recently was awarded the Olympic bronze medal for her incredible – and resilient – performance. She received great scores and found something inside to give even more. Joannnie’s mother, you see, had just died of a massive heart attack in the Olympic Village only days before her daughter’s stunning skating competition.

Nobody would have blinked an eye if Joannie had just pulled out of the competition to deal with the tremendous grief of someone more important to her than anyone else. Yet, she persevered and showed all of us the true spirit of our human experience. Her resolve, dedication and persistence to still be her very best despite unimaginable heartache is the pure essence of how all of us can use our resilience in so many ways.

I have to adapt, compromise and be patient when I have my physical challenges of falling, losing my balance and walking a bit differently. But Joannie, and many of you, have had to deal with losses much greater than mine using your resilience to make it through successfully.

I’m also truly inspired by the many stories you’ve told me about in your everyday lives!

Joannie also showed us that resilience also means finding ways to use your inner strengths of adaptability and sheer determination to overcome. Not only the devastating loss of her mother, but the lifelong support she provided Joannie through – literally – the ups and downs of her outstanding skating career.

What was even more inspirational, she was able to handle all this grief in the intense glare of a worldwide audience and representing her country at the largest sporting event globally. I cannot have more respect and admiration for her…

When I lost my father several years ago, I was a wreck and that was in the privacy of my family and my own life. My life resilience is still tested every time a memory filters through of my father. ..many tears are shed. So, when I saw Joannie’s strength and compassion for her mother in such a public arena, it is a moment that helps me with the grief of my dad – and a wonderful example for the rest of my life.

Unless they are truly special, the fame of sports figures are only a momentary blip until the next great athlete takes the worldwide stage. I have a feeling Joannie will step up on the podium with the likes of Jesse Owens to offer the most inspiring example of resilience despite unfathomably tragic circumstances.

The next time something does not go quite right at work or in your personal relationships, please just remember the resilience, perseverance and sheer strength that one little-known figure skater showed the world. I definitely will…

I was recently a featured guest on a national radio show highlighting life and career resiliency. I will be adding a podcast link to this site very soon. Please let me know if I could help you or your company with the return on investment of resiliency. All of us can make a resilient difference…

Until next week, thanks for your continued readership. My worldwide resiliency blog has now nearly surpassed 1.5 million hits in the last year. Thank you!!!

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

I was reading a great article by national columnist Mitch Albom the other day about dreams coming true and the resiliency of life. Instead of always highlighting my resilient experiences, I thought Mitch’s article throws a perfect resilient strike to what we’ve been discussing over the last year.

The story chronicled a laid off Michigan autoworker who pursued a new, unconventional career direction that all of us can learn lessons from. It is an example of what you have to do – to survive, to endure, to thrive, to adapt, to succeed. It also shows how any of us can reinvent ourselves with tools we already have in our toolbox – or, in this case, a bowling bag.

Tom Smallwood was an autoworker like his father before. Then, two days before Christmas in 2008, General Motors laid him off from his seatbelt assembly job. He applied for many jobs but never received a response. What was he going to do? He was in his early 30s with a wife, I-year-old daughter and a mortgage…and a bowling ball.

Bowling, of course, in normal times is not considered an alternate means of employment. But these are not normal times and Tom was out of options. He had always dreamed of being a professional bowler – as I have always dream of becoming the next Arnold Palmer. Tom had won some tournaments when he was young, but chose the “guaranteed-income world.”

Only, as many of you can attest, what is a guarantee anymore? Jobs we thought we would always have are gone and probably won’t return. Companies we pledged our allegiance are bankrupt. Homes are lost. Neighbors disappear.

So Tom took his bowling ball and practiced every day. If he hadn’t found a job by May, he would try to qualify as a pro bowler. May arrived. He was still out of work. So, he entered the Pro Bowlers Association (PBA) trials. Nearly 120 other hopefuls bowled nine games a day for five days. In the end, Tom was in third place. He’d done it: qualifying for a tour exemption. This meant he’d get a guaranteed spot and a minimum paycheck at each PBA event for a year.

When I was reading the article, the career reinvention theme truly hit the mark. How about you? Are you taking a hard look at your career options? I changed my careers from being a corporate communications executive to a motivational/career resiliency speaker – humbly with a worldwide blog with 1.5 million hits. It’s been hard and sometimes I still don’t roll the ball as smoothly as I should. But, like Tom Smallwood, I looked for a better way and found it. Now it’s your turn to take the next best step for you…

Now, more about Tom.

If Tom’s story ended there, it would serve a purpose, proof that a new “strike zone” can swing within reach, that careers can change directions. While all our stories don’t have great endings right way, Tom’s surely did. He drove his Chevy Impala to the PBA World Championships in Wichita, KS in December.

From the start, he bowled great. And now he was one of the last two bowlers left. (If you would have proposed this as a Hollywood movie, you would have been thrown off the lot.) The other guy on the lane was the PBA Player of the Year. A tall order for Tom.

His last shot. Tom needed one strike and at least seven pins to win. (Yes, the laid-off autoworker from Michigan.) National TV. Lots of money. Fame. And a job! With his heart pounding…well, you can guess the rest. All 10 pins went down and a $50,000 check came next. More than he’d ever earned as a seatbelt assembly person.

He said,” Getting laid off was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. But it led to the best result.”

There’s a lesson for all of us here: The new decade may be the one any of us can learn to reinvent ourselves. For me, Tom Smallwood and, most importantly, you!

Look forward to our chat next week. Thanks, again, for your constant support!

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

All of us have resilient challenges every single day. It is how we overcome the many life obstacles that allow us to pursue our dreams.

My personal life resiliency begins with the way I have successfully adapted to a lifelong disability (Cerebral Palsy.) Basically, CP makes me walk a bit funny and fall down more than I want.

As you reflect and act on your life resiliency – especially at work – I suggest you think about some of the resilient strategies I have used my entire life.

I hope the following helps you think through your own unique ways to keep your resiliency at work – and in life – the best it can be.

Smack-Down Resiliency

At a hotel work conference a couple years ago, I fell and smacked my head against an unforgiving marble floor. I was taken to the emergency room with a couple of my valued work colleagues at my side.

All I was thinking was that I just fell in front of dozens of my colleagues. What were they going to think except to pity me?

Then, my inner resiliency voice said: “Don’t worry about what others may think. You need to focus on yourself and use the resilient strategies that have helped you succeed in life, such as your adaptability, focusing actions you can control, not dwelling on negatives, persevering and staying patient.

I was ultimately O.K. But what my colleagues said afterward, I will never forget. They said: “We did not feel sorry for you, Steve. We were amazed how adaptable and resilient you are in life.”

Wow! Talk about how a very embarrassing work moment that turned into something truly special.

How are you using your resilience to get past challenges at your work and life today?

Resiliency: A 24-Hour-A-Day Proposition

A majority of us are going through a lot of stress and anxiety in these uncertain economic days.

A recent survey showed more than 50 percent of participants were not happy with their jobs. Companies are also going through unsettling times with forced layoffs and trying to stay afloat.

This is where understanding and applying resilient strategies can help you overcome such obstacles.

The work and life resilient strategies proven effective for me and I hope for you are:

Adaptability at Work

A TV career commercial jokingly said many people that we work with we would not spend six seconds with in our personal lives.

So how do you adapt to work styles and personalities not necessarily ideal for you?

The first resilient action I suggest is, “Never judge a book by its cover.”

Don’t worry, for example, that a person may be of a different generation, different gender, different beliefs or – like me – a bit different physically.

Very early in my career, a supervisor was caught up a bit with my physical disability. He would go down to the lunch room to get me something to eat, never schedule a meeting unless it was a short distance away from my cube, etc., etc. He later said he thought I was in pain when I walked.

Unfortunately, he assumed something that he never asked me about and adapted much of his free work time “to help me.” Finally, I sat down to let him know I never need help unless ask for… He was shocked when I told him about walking around the State Fair, lettering in tennis and golf in high school, etc. After this, he was released from adapting his day to make my work experience better.

The workplace point: All of us need to be adaptive in our work style with others. I suggest never assuming a person can’t do tasks at work or only has a certain skill set without asking or observing the person first.

Understanding Your Resilient Keys to Business Success and Personal Fulfillment

The Art of Compromise

Many of us are taught to stick to our beliefs and not compromise unless absolutely necessary.

In your job and career, however, this narrowly-defined attitude can spell ultimate failure. There was a study that showed not being able to compromise was one of the top reasons work relationships failed.

For me, compromise does not mean always giving in to the eccentricities or demands of your co-workers – or even your boss. It’s giving a little on both sides to find a common middle.

The workplace point: Sometimes your co-workers or other colleagues are right on about the implementation of a project or idea. I suggest not letting status and egos get in the way of a great idea.

A senior manager friend of mine once told me of a great compromise example. He received the best work advice from one of the company’s hourly workers at lunch.

The manager discussed a new work/life balance plan was to be communicated the following week. The worker was interested but asked how will it be communicated to his friends on the “grave yard” shift.

The manager said they would have to attend the presentation or call-in. The worker said work/life balance is great for those on the right shifts, but the presentation timing might be a burden with families, getting sleep, etc.

The light bulb went off and the manager said he added presentations at the times convenient for shift workers. It meant a bit more time, but ultimately was seen as very proactive in communicating the message.

The manager compromised – not because of superiors – but because he listened to a typical employee. It ultimately caused him less stress because he did not have to go back and “fix” something out-of-whack.

How could you “compromise” with a supervisor, co-worker or direct report to make a project go smoother?

Knowing Your Strengths

All of us have tremendous personal and professional strengths – and, of course, a few weaknesses along the way.

As leaders, we want to feel great about our work without waiting for the next crisis to hit.

A study has shown workers can improve their strengths by up to 30 percent. If they use the same amount of time to improve their weaknesses, they can only get less than a 10 percent improvement rate.

I have found my greatest work success when I focus on what I do best. I know that is easier said than done because many corporate cultures look for our missteps instead of valuing our successes.

When I was asked a couple years ago to create layoff communications plans that would affect my work friends – and ultimately me – the first draft was not seen as not “hard enough.”

I took the critique and used my strengths of adaptability to re=craft a more direct yet sensitive plan that was implemented.

The workplace point: Unless you lack some core skills, I suggest not worrying as much your weaknesses. Spend at least 80 percent of the time demonstrating your strengths to your working world.

Finding Common Ground

Sounds easy, doesn’t it? All of us should be on the same page at work. It only makes sense…

But do your reports truly know what the goals of a project or company are? Do you? Does your supervisor? Any of these trigger points can break down the sense of accomplishment, happiness and content we need at work.

How do you find common ground to move projects forward at all levels?

Actions Within Your Control

To also stay productive at work, all of us should manage our work expectations better.

Do you have ultimate control over how your supervisor reacts to a project you’ve completed? Can you truly manage how your reports spend their time? Do you have control of how you react to these two situations?

The answer to the first two questions is probably “not.” But you can control the third question as long as you have the proper mindset.

Many times we derail our sense of accomplishment because we worry about events out of our control.

For me, there are only three things you can totally control in your work or personal lives: Our attitude, values and how we relate to people. All three are work essentials.

Studies show nearly 95 percent of the projects or people you work with are only partially controllable by you.

A CEO speech I wrote once illustrates the point. Just a day before, the CEO thought the original speech was perfect. But the next day, as if I were in the Twilight Zone, he wanted a different focus. Could I control his change of opinion? No! But I could control how I reacted to him, and how I re-crafted the speech. If I let the “process” consume me, I could have never wrote what turned out to be an award-nominated speech.

The workplace point: If you let your attitude and mindset slip, life and work can really spiral downwards.

What workplace actions are totally within your control?

The Three Ps of Resiliency

To help with “control,” I suggest you remember the three Ps – perseverance, persistence and patience.

Perseverance: What can any of us do to reduce work stress?

To me, persevering means understanding what you control and applying what I do best… I suggest applying this to your work experience.

An example: After being laid off from the dream job I mentioned, I looked at what I could control. I developed a personal business plan, looked hard at my personal brand and truly had a heart-to-heart with myself.

My perseverance led me to developing an award-nominated resiliency blog worldwide attracting more than 1 million hits and establishing a business where I could speak at organizations like this. Developing additional resiliency materials for those in need led me to staying healthy. It is very humbling…

The workplace point: The lesson I learned – and one I suggest you should think about – is don’t pity yourself because you have had a professional setback or are not happy at work. Look at yourself hard and figure out your work passion.

Persistence: That great work idea you’ve had that no one seems to hear or understand. It could save the company thousands of dollars, or make employees understand the company better. And you just don’t have enough energy or will to pursue it any longer.

Definitely been there, done that…

But just think about those resilient innovators throughout history, such as Edison, Ford and Gates. Each had their own set of work challenges – including many business failures – but they persisted. Look at where persistence got them and where it might get you with your own unique resiliency mindset.

My resiliency goal is to help millions of people to understand how their resilient strengths can make a difference in their work/life happiness.

Patience: You feel like you are not getting anywhere at work. Too much is being asked of you or the type of work you do is not interesting anymore.

For me, I stepped back and never regretted it.

I was a senior marketer at Medtronic a few years ago. It was an interesting, yet unfulfilling, job for me.

I made a significant income and had a lot of responsibility but wanted to move back to my work passion of directing corporate communications.

I did not hurry but it led me away from Medtronic to another company where I was extremely happy until this economic perfect storm hit.

My patience led me to my work passion instead of just settling…

Managing Your Personal Brand

Understanding and believing in your personal brand at work is absolutely part of your unique resiliency mindset. Since the layoff, I retooled my “brand,” and my resiliency business is very humbly a success.

Adaptable, persistent, perseverance, patience, being seen as easy to work with and a team player…how are you being viewed at work?

How are you managing your personal brand at work and in life?

Knowing and Understanding Yourself

To also stay resilient at work, I’d suggest tapping into your personal vision of yourself:

What gives you satisfaction in your current job or life situation?

Recognize what makes you happy. Set aside what you “should” like, and think about what you “do” like.

If I let situations control me, I might still be looking for my next great work adventure.

Your Resiliency Next Steps

Please take a moment to think of a couple areas you’d like to improve about your workplace or life resiliency…

I suggest listing them and see how you are doing after one month, six months, one year. You may be surprised at how even more resilient you’ve become at work, but more importantly, in life!

How are you using your resiliency to help keep yourself moving forward?

One last short personal story: Because of my disability, my parents had to fight for my individual rights in the 1960s and early 1970s as I was growing up. They taught me something that can apply everyday in the workplace for you. While they did not use the word resilient, they said:

“Never worry about things you can’t do, cherish your strengths to always be your very best.”

I hope this quote will resonate with your life and career as it has done with mine! I hope you are having a resilient day and look forward to talking with you next week!

It is truly hard to stay resilient. This is from a guy who thinks and lives resiliency every second of every day. It’s no wonder that many good folks are just throwing up their hands these days not knowing which way to turn.

Record unemployment, the stock market “yo-yo” dance and more than half of people still working not being happy with their jobs. The pundits have an easy answer: Government is the problem whether the Democrats or Republicans control the seats of power.

Our life resiliency is being bombarded with negativity on a daily basis with the 24-hour-a-day news cycle. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely want to know and understand world and local events. I, however, find that my resilience is sometimes compromised by the incessant “breaking news” about the latest comments from Sarah Palin, Nancy Pelosi or anyone in-between the schism we know as polarization.

I think we need to look past the “blame game,” and rely on ourselves to brush the non-resilient moments off. We need to overcome such obstacles and continue striving for our best as individuals and as a healthy member of the world community.  No, I don’t want to go back to Herbert Hoover politics, and being an idealist is not practical in these uncertain economic days.

My overall life resiliency, however, is challenged when I hear the Democrats blaming former President Bush. Or, the Republicans bashing President Obama for nearly everything wrong in America. Our resiliency as a nation and a world partner also is being knocked down when individuals let a few differences cloud the overall good Democrats and Republicans bring to the table.

The old saying probably holds true: “Our government leaders agree on 90 percent of everything. It’s that last 10 percent that can cause bottles of antacids to be bought.”

A generation from now will historians brand this age as the beginning of our loss of resiliency as a nation? Where we could not adapt, compromise and have constructive conversation about important national topics. Yes, we have had partisan politics since probably George Washington left the presidency more than 200 years ago. But our overall national resilience is being tested to the max in these very uncertain days.

Despite the very challenging times, my career and life resiliency speaking/consulting business has started well, But, as with any of us, this very humble success doesn’t mean I can’t stop being ever vigilant. Whether you are employed by a corporation or an independent business owner like me, I truly believe our country’s political climate does not bode well for prosperous employment and solving our significant national  issues – unless we stay resilient. Such challenges include getting 8+ million employed again, making sure 30 million folks without health insurance stay alive and stopping the acceleration of the foreclosure rate. The list goes on and on…

The next time you blame President Obama for being out-of-touch, House Speaker Pelosi for being out on the fringe, Sarah Palin for being a bit wacko or Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachman for just  being nutty, please step back and remember one thing. Whether we are from a different country or not, all of us lose a portion of life resiliency where we can only agree to disagree.

I sometimes struggle with my resiliency while worrying about outside events. Like you, I don’t need our nation and world choosing sides and not being able to work together on the basics of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness!

I guess I was wrong…I am an idealist who will never give up believing. I hope you continue believing, too.

Thanks, again, for reading and commenting on my article. Until next week…take care.

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

All of us are resilient 24 hours a day. In saying this, there are moments in my life that I’ve just wanted to bury my head, cruise off to a south sea island and not worry about the every day craziness of life. This craziness may be caused by me having a truly challenging day at the office, losing confidence in myself with some part of my life I’m usually very great at, someone has said something I have taken the wrong way, or I just feel like I’ve let people down – including myself.

This is when my inner resilience voice has spoken very softly but firmly saying: “Steve, you are not going to get through this challenge unless you understand that life is much more than being a good worker, good father or being good co-worker. A resilient life is about being good to myself and learning from missteps I have made in my career and personal life. And then bouncing back from these setbacks to become even stronger.

As you think through your life actions, I’m sure you agree that sometimes being good to yourself is the hardest accomplishment.

When I literally trip and fall because my physical disability (Cerebral Palsy) has made my back seize up, this is when I need to use my inner courage to dust myself off and move forward again. When I have not been as patient with someone (including myself) as I should be, I have to remember how lucky I am to have such great friends and colleagues at my side. When I have disappointed myself because I did not properly gauge the best course of action action, I have to remember that I am not perfect and my next decisions will determine how I successfully move forward.

As I write to you today, I have received many comments about how you are thinking the same types of things. Are we good people to ourselves and others, will our kids grow up with the societal values that will help them succeed, will we accomplish our dreams to be differentiator at work – and more importantly in life… Such questions are at the resilient core of what all of us should be focusing in life.

We all live our resiliency every day, but I feel it takes a bit of extra reflection to make sure our resiliency in highly stressful times stays at least on an even keel. As I try to do, I suggest you reflect on what goals and values are truly important to you. Is it work? Is it your personal life? Is it both?

To be successful at long-term resiliency, I have found you need to truly understand what’s vitally important to your on-going needs. For me, I absolutely want to be successful in resiliency speaking and writing business. But then I remember a famous Booker T. Washington quote: “It is not the status or position you attain in life, it’s the obstacles that you have overcome to achieve your needs.”

The desire for me to stay successful in business is important, but the last few months have shown me that the success I have as a father, husband and friend are even more important. That is why my long-term resiliency has been bolstered by reassessing my needs and overcoming any work or life obstacles that lead me away from my personal commitment to my loved ones.

Life has been extremely challenging for many of us during this Great Recession. Nerves have become frayed, some dreams have been put on hold, and personal relationships have sometimes taken back seat because of the unabridged stress we have found in these uncertain times. But I suggest that nothing is as important as your family and friends. This wonderful support network will help you overcome any obstacles that come your way.

I am definitely not an idealist, but I have come to realize that 24-hour-day resiliency is not something you can take for granted in any way. Not many of us will be remembered for our profession in life. Instead, folks will most likely remember us for the values we teach our children and the resilient way we relate to all people.

So, the next time you have one of those unimaginably hard days, please think about all those folks on your side ready to help, comfort and get you through until life’s magical moments roll your way again. Because remember: It’s not that crazy things happen or you make mistakes in life. Your true success will come in how you react and make a resilient difference in your life’s managerie of moments!

Take care, and I will talk with you next week…

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

The loss of life and utter destruction in Haiti leaves me (and probably all of us) devastatingly sad. Haiti and its good people have been severely tested before on many fronts. But their sheer basic life resiliency is now being shaken at the core and this highlights again to me how life can be so fragile – and at the same time wonderful!

As I’ve wrote/spoke about career and life resiliency for countless months, so many of you worldwide have poured out your pain of being laid off, loss of a significant relationship or other tragic life moments.

The devastation in Haiti, however, puts all of our (sometimes severe) challenges in perspective. Many of us have had to reinvent ourselves to successfully adapt to the current worldwide economic mess. But, in a matter of seconds, the Haitian world was turned into sheer hell that the country (and world) will be dealing with for many years to come.

While I’m sure most in Haiti have never heard of the word “resilience,” this is how they will claw their way through their earthquake-ravaged streets and move on with the basics of life. Finding clean water, establishing proper sanitation, avoiding disease, and staving off chaos and armed looters in the streets should force us to think about life resiliency in a much more pure and basic way.

As I work toward the success of my new resiliency consulting business, I glance up to the all-mighty and give thanks to the fantastic life I have lived for 50 years. Sure, not everything has gone my way, and my life and career struggles have been apparent from time to time. But I look at the great moments in life with my family, friends and terrific colleagues worldwide and feel so fulfilled. I hope you think through your daily challenges and realize how lucky you are to be alive and not having to worry so much about the basics of life.

The Haitian government was just scratching the surface of legitimacy before the earthquake. Their road after being a French colony has been filled with corruption, missteps and a lot of bad luck. This, however, is not the time to criticize or become polarized from comments by America’s fringe whackos.

For you and I, it’s time to be thankful we don’t have to endure the terrible circumstances in Haiti. It is also a time to stay resilient and understand that we don’t have it so bad no matter our circumstances.

As many of us have done before, we also need to open our hearts to the unfortunate folks of Haiti – as the world did when 9/11 happened in New York. Please give to your designated charity to help the good people of Haiti reestablish their basic resilience again… This act of kindness will also give all of us a boost of resilience as we deal with our every day (and important) resilient needs!

To me, resilience means more than just thinking solely about my individual needs. While my life is important, it also means doing what I can to help those in much more dire circumstances. This Haitian natural disaster crisis only reaffirms my belief. I encourage you to assess your life and give some thought about those in desperate need. This was a very healthy exercise for me and hopefully you will have a similar conviction…

Until next week, thanks again for the opportunity to talk with you about all of our resilient issues. Take care…

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

A recent employment survey suggested that nearly 50 percent of those who still have jobs in this economy are dissatisfied with their work. More than 50 percent said they also don’t find their jobs interesting. Additionally, nearly 45 percent of workers do not feel secure about their jobs.

In these tragic times – with more than 8 million good folks laid off – the cynical conclusion to these findings is that workers don’t realize how blessed they are to receiving a steady paycheck. Fortunately, I am not a cynic and realize there are many underlying resilient reasons workers are dissatisfied apart from the challenging world we live in today.

Many of us have had to be extremely resilient as our jobs have evaporated over the last year because of heartbreaking circumstances. Workers, however, are going through similar stress because much more is being expected of them through company layoffs, while others are having their hours cut severely as cost-savings measures at companies.

The bottom line: All of us are in this resilient journey together. This is where our confidence can be the absolute key in continuing the belief in each of us.

Maintaining a baseline of confidence in good and not so good times is THE most important resiliency/adaptability factor that allows me – and you – to continue our work and life everyday.

Yes, incomes have not kept up with inflation. Yes, the soaring cost of health insurance has eaten into our take home pay. Yes, we are still losing far too many jobs to feel totally confident about comparable work again or keeping our jobs in the long-term.

If I read this survey 12 months again when I was initially laid off, I would have said to respondents, “Get over it…you are at least employed.” But now that I’ve carved out a new career as a very humble and successful resilient speaker/consultant, there are so many issues all of us have to think about – employed or not.

What is really disturbing about the growing job dissatisfaction is the way it can play into the competitive nature of our workforce down the road. The survey also found less workers like each other than just a year before and the trend does not seem to be slowing down. This does not bode well for work teamwork in the future.

I truly believe that this “new economy” will force us to think even more about looking out for #1 – ourselves. There’s definitely a true need to look out for #1, but many work environments depend on sharing ideas and adapting for the common good. Will this irrevocably harm our work relationships – and, ultimately our work success?

Too often in the future, our inner and outward resiliency will be critically tested as we navigate through such potentially turbulent work currents.

As I reached a half-century in the last couple weeks, life has always had its moments where I’ve wanted to shut the world out because I’ve momentarily lacked the confidence to move forward.

In addition to everyday work challenges, this also has been because I had just tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and fallen. (My balance is sometimes affected by my lifelong physical disability – Cerebral Palsy.) Or, I just had a conversation with my 14-year-old daughter that I knew could have gone better.

All of us have such issues – great and small – we face everyday. They can truly affect the confidence in ourselves.  Such survey findings may affect how we view our “new” workplace – even after the economy gets revved up again. Always focusing on #1 can have its disadvantages in adapting to such new paradigms.

I, however, suggest we don’t let such surveys sour us on the possibilities of our job we have right now, or the ones waiting for us just around the next corner. While we have to face the sometimes-sobering realities of the workplace, the resilience we have and the confidence in ourselves will successfully move us past these momentary challenges.

Please just continue to understand your strengths and confidence in yourself at work – despite the possible trends highlighted by any surveys. While all of us have gone through dissatisfied moments in our life, never stay dissatisfied with your most important asset – you!

Stay strong and resilient, my friends. Until next week…take care!

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

All of us probably have dozens of New Year’s resolution examples throughout our lives that were great for the moment but ultimately hard to achieve:  Losing weight, spending more time with your family, finding a more fulfilling life…the list goes on. Unfortunately, the resiliency of continuing our goals after the first 60 days typically subsides, and we go back to the “routines” that make us comfortable.

Sound familiar? I found in my own life it’s not that I set unrealistic resolution goals, but sometimes my wavering self-confidence helps derail “the moment.” That is, until last year. The economy had just forced my employer to lay off1,500 employees – including me. I could have melted from the stress but decided to do something that you should think about.

I looked at myself warts and all and asked such questions like: “What do I want to do for the rest of my life and career?” “What life and career strengths do I have to offer the ‘new’ economy?” and “How can I use these strengths to my best advantage? “

It was not easy. I had been a very successful corporate communications executive for more than 25 years that the lay off put on hold.  I also needed to adapt to a lifelong physical disability (Cerebral Palsy) that was making it harder for me to walk as I reached age 50. Additionally, my wife had recently graduated with an additional college degree but she was only working 32 hours a week.

I’m sure your own unique life experiences have similar threads…

I also knew the type of jobs I had relied on were being the first cut at companies with few able to hire in these very challenging times.

After poignant reflection,  I knew that my writing and speaking abilities needed to be used in a new way. I needed to rely on my skills to carve a career role out for myself that may not have anything to do with working for a corporation.  How could I show my strengths to the world and make a living from it? Please read on to see how I am doing it.

As you look at yourself, please don’t push your strengths into a corner and let a few demons destroy your confidence. No matter what you think of tennis great Andre Agassi, he said something that hit home. Andre said his life challenges were a direct result of losing confidence in himself leading to more bad decisions in his life.

I could definitely relate, and I was not going to let “my demons” control my future life success. That is why I looked for the right vehicles to showcase my talents, and I found them in my worldwide resiliency blog and as an international resiliency speaker.

I used my step-by-step ADD plan: I assessed, I developed a realistic action plan, I did… I also had the tremendous support of my family and friends as I also used my three Ps of resiliency to keep me from the abyss: Perseverance, persistence and patience in myself.

The third P – patience – was my most important life ingredient. For me, patience was consistently hard to find in the past.  Because of resiliently sticking to my “plan,” however,  my resiliency business has been a fantastic ride so far.  I’ve been very humbled with more than 1.2 million blog hits in 10 months and speaking gigs from corporations and groups of all kinds.

I don’t mention this to pat myself on the back. I just want o help folks worldwide with resiliency while making a reasonable living from my talents. I do highlight my success as an example you can use in determining the next moves in your life.

I’d suggest you make the following New Year’s resolution to continue your life and/or career success: “I’m not going to underestimate my abilities to find a great career path, lose the few extra pounds or whatever my goals are in life.” Then, as the Nike commercial highlights, “Just do it!”

What other resiliency subjects would you like me to write about? Please send me an e-mail at beseke1@earthlink.net. Take care my friends!

As 2009 ends, we are unfortunately still seeing negative headlines and challenging economic news around the country and worldwide. There are a few resilient cracks in the economic armor, but all of us need continue looking inside ourselves for those important moments we need to stay strong.

That’s why we need to seize “our” day and remember the strengths and values we bring to the table every day – with our families, friends, co-workers and especially ourselves.

Please think through how you can seize positively through your day. Here is an example how I have successfully traversed though challenges.

When I was younger, I wanted to be in control of everything in my life and seize every moment of  the day. This sounds great, doesn’t it? It is only natural we want to be in control of all aspects of our lives. I found, though, that I was expending so much energy trying to be in total control that I was losing my resilience edge.

There were just some things I could not control totally at work, home and life in general that were reducing my resilience on things I could ultimately control, which included my attitude and how I relate to people.

I thought, for example, I was in control of my work life. I was doing great, with fantastic reviews, an “essential” tag placed on me, terrific compensation and much admiration of my peers throughout the company. There, of course, was the awful recent downturn in the economy, but I thought my exemplary performance would keep me in control of my fate. Man, did I have a lot to learn…

Within a matter of a few months of being “essential,” I became expendable no matter how much effort expended and control I thought I had. With no fault of the company, it had to cut to the bone including me. The lesson for me was there are some things – great and small – out of a person’s total control.

I hoped this would be my last company I would ever work for. What I found is you can never feel totally secure even with an A+ work performance record.

I have moved on to have success in many other areas, including resiliency speaking, presentations and training. I have adapted my control definition, and stayed in personal control of being strong, nimble and resilient. That is, continuing to seize every moment of the day in a slightly more realistic way.

Being nimble, adaptable – and more realistic - in all circumstances will allow you to stay resilient, in control and seize your day. Please think of one aspect of your life you feel vulnerable. Then, ponder how you would adapt and seize the day if an unexpected challenge happened to you. This will help you truly stay on top of being career and life resilient as we move into a new (and hopefully) more terrific decade!

Hopefdully your holiday season and New Year have been magical. Take care ’til next week.