By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

All of us are resilient 24 hours a day. In saying this, there are moments in my life that I’ve just wanted to bury my head, cruise off to a south sea island and not worry about the every day craziness of life. This craziness may be caused by me having a truly challenging day at the office, losing confidence in myself with some part of my life I’m usually very great at, someone has said something I have taken the wrong way, or I just feel like I’ve let people down – including myself.

This is when my inner resilience voice has spoken very softly but firmly saying: “Steve, you are not going to get through this challenge unless you understand that life is much more than being a good worker, good father or being good co-worker. A resilient life is about being good to myself and learning from missteps I have made in my career and personal life. And then bouncing back from these setbacks to become even stronger.

As you think through your life actions, I’m sure you agree that sometimes being good to yourself is the hardest accomplishment.

When I literally trip and fall because my physical disability (Cerebral Palsy) has made my back seize up, this is when I need to use my inner courage to dust myself off and move forward again. When I have not been as patient with someone (including myself) as I should be, I have to remember how lucky I am to have such great friends and colleagues at my side. When I have disappointed myself because I did not properly gauge the best course of action action, I have to remember that I am not perfect and my next decisions will determine how I successfully move forward.

As I write to you today, I have received many comments about how you are thinking the same types of things. Are we good people to ourselves and others, will our kids grow up with the societal values that will help them succeed, will we accomplish our dreams to be differentiator at work – and more importantly in life… Such questions are at the resilient core of what all of us should be focusing in life.

We all live our resiliency every day, but I feel it takes a bit of extra reflection to make sure our resiliency in highly stressful times stays at least on an even keel. As I try to do, I suggest you reflect on what goals and values are truly important to you. Is it work? Is it your personal life? Is it both?

To be successful at long-term resiliency, I have found you need to truly understand what’s vitally important to your on-going needs. For me, I absolutely want to be successful in resiliency speaking and writing business. But then I remember a famous Booker T. Washington quote: “It is not the status or position you attain in life, it’s the obstacles that you have overcome to achieve your needs.”

The desire for me to stay successful in business is important, but the last few months have shown me that the success I have as a father, husband and friend are even more important. That is why my long-term resiliency has been bolstered by reassessing my needs and overcoming any work or life obstacles that lead me away from my personal commitment to my loved ones.

Life has been extremely challenging for many of us during this Great Recession. Nerves have become frayed, some dreams have been put on hold, and personal relationships have sometimes taken back seat because of the unabridged stress we have found in these uncertain times. But I suggest that nothing is as important as your family and friends. This wonderful support network will help you overcome any obstacles that come your way.

I am definitely not an idealist, but I have come to realize that 24-hour-day resiliency is not something you can take for granted in any way. Not many of us will be remembered for our profession in life. Instead, folks will most likely remember us for the values we teach our children and the resilient way we relate to all people.

So, the next time you have one of those unimaginably hard days, please think about all those folks on your side ready to help, comfort and get you through until life’s magical moments roll your way again. Because remember: It’s not that crazy things happen or you make mistakes in life. Your true success will come in how you react and make a resilient difference in your life’s managerie of moments!

Take care, and I will talk with you next week…

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

The loss of life and utter destruction in Haiti leaves me (and probably all of us) devastatingly sad. Haiti and its good people have been severely tested before on many fronts. But their sheer basic life resiliency is now being shaken at the core and this highlights again to me how life can be so fragile – and at the same time wonderful!

As I’ve wrote/spoke about career and life resiliency for countless months, so many of you worldwide have poured out your pain of being laid off, loss of a significant relationship or other tragic life moments.

The devastation in Haiti, however, puts all of our (sometimes severe) challenges in perspective. Many of us have had to reinvent ourselves to successfully adapt to the current worldwide economic mess. But, in a matter of seconds, the Haitian world was turned into sheer hell that the country (and world) will be dealing with for many years to come.

While I’m sure most in Haiti have never heard of the word “resilience,” this is how they will claw their way through their earthquake-ravaged streets and move on with the basics of life. Finding clean water, establishing proper sanitation, avoiding disease, and staving off chaos and armed looters in the streets should force us to think about life resiliency in a much more pure and basic way.

As I work toward the success of my new resiliency consulting business, I glance up to the all-mighty and give thanks to the fantastic life I have lived for 50 years. Sure, not everything has gone my way, and my life and career struggles have been apparent from time to time. But I look at the great moments in life with my family, friends and terrific colleagues worldwide and feel so fulfilled. I hope you think through your daily challenges and realize how lucky you are to be alive and not having to worry so much about the basics of life.

The Haitian government was just scratching the surface of legitimacy before the earthquake. Their road after being a French colony has been filled with corruption, missteps and a lot of bad luck. This, however, is not the time to criticize or become polarized from comments by America’s fringe whackos.

For you and I, it’s time to be thankful we don’t have to endure the terrible circumstances in Haiti. It is also a time to stay resilient and understand that we don’t have it so bad no matter our circumstances.

As many of us have done before, we also need to open our hearts to the unfortunate folks of Haiti – as the world did when 9/11 happened in New York. Please give to your designated charity to help the good people of Haiti reestablish their basic resilience again… This act of kindness will also give all of us a boost of resilience as we deal with our every day (and important) resilient needs!

To me, resilience means more than just thinking solely about my individual needs. While my life is important, it also means doing what I can to help those in much more dire circumstances. This Haitian natural disaster crisis only reaffirms my belief. I encourage you to assess your life and give some thought about those in desperate need. This was a very healthy exercise for me and hopefully you will have a similar conviction…

Until next week, thanks again for the opportunity to talk with you about all of our resilient issues. Take care…

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

A recent employment survey suggested that nearly 50 percent of those who still have jobs in this economy are dissatisfied with their work. More than 50 percent said they also don’t find their jobs interesting. Additionally, nearly 45 percent of workers do not feel secure about their jobs.

In these tragic times – with more than 8 million good folks laid off – the cynical conclusion to these findings is that workers don’t realize how blessed they are to receiving a steady paycheck. Fortunately, I am not a cynic and realize there are many underlying resilient reasons workers are dissatisfied apart from the challenging world we live in today.

Many of us have had to be extremely resilient as our jobs have evaporated over the last year because of heartbreaking circumstances. Workers, however, are going through similar stress because much more is being expected of them through company layoffs, while others are having their hours cut severely as cost-savings measures at companies.

The bottom line: All of us are in this resilient journey together. This is where our confidence can be the absolute key in continuing the belief in each of us.

Maintaining a baseline of confidence in good and not so good times is THE most important resiliency/adaptability factor that allows me – and you – to continue our work and life everyday.

Yes, incomes have not kept up with inflation. Yes, the soaring cost of health insurance has eaten into our take home pay. Yes, we are still losing far too many jobs to feel totally confident about comparable work again or keeping our jobs in the long-term.

If I read this survey 12 months again when I was initially laid off, I would have said to respondents, “Get over it…you are at least employed.” But now that I’ve carved out a new career as a very humble and successful resilient speaker/consultant, there are so many issues all of us have to think about – employed or not.

What is really disturbing about the growing job dissatisfaction is the way it can play into the competitive nature of our workforce down the road. The survey also found less workers like each other than just a year before and the trend does not seem to be slowing down. This does not bode well for work teamwork in the future.

I truly believe that this “new economy” will force us to think even more about looking out for #1 – ourselves. There’s definitely a true need to look out for #1, but many work environments depend on sharing ideas and adapting for the common good. Will this irrevocably harm our work relationships – and, ultimately our work success?

Too often in the future, our inner and outward resiliency will be critically tested as we navigate through such potentially turbulent work currents.

As I reached a half-century in the last couple weeks, life has always had its moments where I’ve wanted to shut the world out because I’ve momentarily lacked the confidence to move forward.

In addition to everyday work challenges, this also has been because I had just tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and fallen. (My balance is sometimes affected by my lifelong physical disability – Cerebral Palsy.) Or, I just had a conversation with my 14-year-old daughter that I knew could have gone better.

All of us have such issues – great and small – we face everyday. They can truly affect the confidence in ourselves.  Such survey findings may affect how we view our “new” workplace – even after the economy gets revved up again. Always focusing on #1 can have its disadvantages in adapting to such new paradigms.

I, however, suggest we don’t let such surveys sour us on the possibilities of our job we have right now, or the ones waiting for us just around the next corner. While we have to face the sometimes-sobering realities of the workplace, the resilience we have and the confidence in ourselves will successfully move us past these momentary challenges.

Please just continue to understand your strengths and confidence in yourself at work – despite the possible trends highlighted by any surveys. While all of us have gone through dissatisfied moments in our life, never stay dissatisfied with your most important asset – you!

Stay strong and resilient, my friends. Until next week…take care!

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

All of us probably have dozens of New Year’s resolution examples throughout our lives that were great for the moment but ultimately hard to achieve:  Losing weight, spending more time with your family, finding a more fulfilling life…the list goes on. Unfortunately, the resiliency of continuing our goals after the first 60 days typically subsides, and we go back to the “routines” that make us comfortable.

Sound familiar? I found in my own life it’s not that I set unrealistic resolution goals, but sometimes my wavering self-confidence helps derail “the moment.” That is, until last year. The economy had just forced my employer to lay off1,500 employees – including me. I could have melted from the stress but decided to do something that you should think about.

I looked at myself warts and all and asked such questions like: “What do I want to do for the rest of my life and career?” “What life and career strengths do I have to offer the ‘new’ economy?” and “How can I use these strengths to my best advantage? “

It was not easy. I had been a very successful corporate communications executive for more than 25 years that the lay off put on hold.  I also needed to adapt to a lifelong physical disability (Cerebral Palsy) that was making it harder for me to walk as I reached age 50. Additionally, my wife had recently graduated with an additional college degree but she was only working 32 hours a week.

I’m sure your own unique life experiences have similar threads…

I also knew the type of jobs I had relied on were being the first cut at companies with few able to hire in these very challenging times.

After poignant reflection,  I knew that my writing and speaking abilities needed to be used in a new way. I needed to rely on my skills to carve a career role out for myself that may not have anything to do with working for a corporation.  How could I show my strengths to the world and make a living from it? Please read on to see how I am doing it.

As you look at yourself, please don’t push your strengths into a corner and let a few demons destroy your confidence. No matter what you think of tennis great Andre Agassi, he said something that hit home. Andre said his life challenges were a direct result of losing confidence in himself leading to more bad decisions in his life.

I could definitely relate, and I was not going to let “my demons” control my future life success. That is why I looked for the right vehicles to showcase my talents, and I found them in my worldwide resiliency blog and as an international resiliency speaker.

I used my step-by-step ADD plan: I assessed, I developed a realistic action plan, I did… I also had the tremendous support of my family and friends as I also used my three Ps of resiliency to keep me from the abyss: Perseverance, persistence and patience in myself.

The third P – patience – was my most important life ingredient. For me, patience was consistently hard to find in the past.  Because of resiliently sticking to my “plan,” however,  my resiliency business has been a fantastic ride so far.  I’ve been very humbled with more than 1.2 million blog hits in 10 months and speaking gigs from corporations and groups of all kinds.

I don’t mention this to pat myself on the back. I just want o help folks worldwide with resiliency while making a reasonable living from my talents. I do highlight my success as an example you can use in determining the next moves in your life.

I’d suggest you make the following New Year’s resolution to continue your life and/or career success: “I’m not going to underestimate my abilities to find a great career path, lose the few extra pounds or whatever my goals are in life.” Then, as the Nike commercial highlights, “Just do it!”

What other resiliency subjects would you like me to write about? Please send me an e-mail at beseke1@earthlink.net. Take care my friends!

As 2009 ends, we are unfortunately still seeing negative headlines and challenging economic news around the country and worldwide. There are a few resilient cracks in the economic armor, but all of us need continue looking inside ourselves for those important moments we need to stay strong.

That’s why we need to seize “our” day and remember the strengths and values we bring to the table every day – with our families, friends, co-workers and especially ourselves.

Please think through how you can seize positively through your day. Here is an example how I have successfully traversed though challenges.

When I was younger, I wanted to be in control of everything in my life and seize every moment of  the day. This sounds great, doesn’t it? It is only natural we want to be in control of all aspects of our lives. I found, though, that I was expending so much energy trying to be in total control that I was losing my resilience edge.

There were just some things I could not control totally at work, home and life in general that were reducing my resilience on things I could ultimately control, which included my attitude and how I relate to people.

I thought, for example, I was in control of my work life. I was doing great, with fantastic reviews, an “essential” tag placed on me, terrific compensation and much admiration of my peers throughout the company. There, of course, was the awful recent downturn in the economy, but I thought my exemplary performance would keep me in control of my fate. Man, did I have a lot to learn…

Within a matter of a few months of being “essential,” I became expendable no matter how much effort expended and control I thought I had. With no fault of the company, it had to cut to the bone including me. The lesson for me was there are some things – great and small – out of a person’s total control.

I hoped this would be my last company I would ever work for. What I found is you can never feel totally secure even with an A+ work performance record.

I have moved on to have success in many other areas, including resiliency speaking, presentations and training. I have adapted my control definition, and stayed in personal control of being strong, nimble and resilient. That is, continuing to seize every moment of the day in a slightly more realistic way.

Being nimble, adaptable – and more realistic - in all circumstances will allow you to stay resilient, in control and seize your day. Please think of one aspect of your life you feel vulnerable. Then, ponder how you would adapt and seize the day if an unexpected challenge happened to you. This will help you truly stay on top of being career and life resilient as we move into a new (and hopefully) more terrific decade!

Hopefdully your holiday season and New Year have been magical. Take care ’til next week.