By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net
All of us are resilient 24 hours a day. In saying this, there are moments in my life that I’ve just wanted to bury my head, cruise off to a south sea island and not worry about the every day craziness of life. This craziness may be caused by me having a truly challenging day at the office, losing confidence in myself with some part of my life I’m usually very great at, someone has said something I have taken the wrong way, or I just feel like I’ve let people down – including myself.
This is when my inner resilience voice has spoken very softly but firmly saying: “Steve, you are not going to get through this challenge unless you understand that life is much more than being a good worker, good father or being good co-worker. A resilient life is about being good to myself and learning from missteps I have made in my career and personal life. And then bouncing back from these setbacks to become even stronger.
As you think through your life actions, I’m sure you agree that sometimes being good to yourself is the hardest accomplishment.
When I literally trip and fall because my physical disability (Cerebral Palsy) has made my back seize up, this is when I need to use my inner courage to dust myself off and move forward again. When I have not been as patient with someone (including myself) as I should be, I have to remember how lucky I am to have such great friends and colleagues at my side. When I have disappointed myself because I did not properly gauge the best course of action action, I have to remember that I am not perfect and my next decisions will determine how I successfully move forward.
As I write to you today, I have received many comments about how you are thinking the same types of things. Are we good people to ourselves and others, will our kids grow up with the societal values that will help them succeed, will we accomplish our dreams to be differentiator at work – and more importantly in life… Such questions are at the resilient core of what all of us should be focusing in life.
We all live our resiliency every day, but I feel it takes a bit of extra reflection to make sure our resiliency in highly stressful times stays at least on an even keel. As I try to do, I suggest you reflect on what goals and values are truly important to you. Is it work? Is it your personal life? Is it both?
To be successful at long-term resiliency, I have found you need to truly understand what’s vitally important to your on-going needs. For me, I absolutely want to be successful in resiliency speaking and writing business. But then I remember a famous Booker T. Washington quote: “It is not the status or position you attain in life, it’s the obstacles that you have overcome to achieve your needs.”
The desire for me to stay successful in business is important, but the last few months have shown me that the success I have as a father, husband and friend are even more important. That is why my long-term resiliency has been bolstered by reassessing my needs and overcoming any work or life obstacles that lead me away from my personal commitment to my loved ones.
Life has been extremely challenging for many of us during this Great Recession. Nerves have become frayed, some dreams have been put on hold, and personal relationships have sometimes taken back seat because of the unabridged stress we have found in these uncertain times. But I suggest that nothing is as important as your family and friends. This wonderful support network will help you overcome any obstacles that come your way.
I am definitely not an idealist, but I have come to realize that 24-hour-day resiliency is not something you can take for granted in any way. Not many of us will be remembered for our profession in life. Instead, folks will most likely remember us for the values we teach our children and the resilient way we relate to all people.
So, the next time you have one of those unimaginably hard days, please think about all those folks on your side ready to help, comfort and get you through until life’s magical moments roll your way again. Because remember: It’s not that crazy things happen or you make mistakes in life. Your true success will come in how you react and make a resilient difference in your life’s managerie of moments!
Take care, and I will talk with you next week…
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